I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
