love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
