Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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