Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
