Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
