good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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