I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
