My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
