Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize