she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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