Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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