you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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