Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
