theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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