Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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