dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
