She is in my trunk
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
