what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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