her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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