I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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