oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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