The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
