Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
