So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
