If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
