I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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