Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I love you.
Bad choice
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
Randomize
