Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
