By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
