I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
