There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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