if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
