I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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