I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
