2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
