Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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