On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
