omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
