return my video game
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
