Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
