nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
