I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
