My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
