Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
