And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
