I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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