i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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