You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
