I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
