So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
